The next "BIG" thing

Just look at these cute kids, will you?!!  I mean, each one is so beautiful.  (They also have a great sense of humor, as is proven by their description of  how each sees him-herself.)  So, how could I not be a little saddened when I look at them now and each of them are almost grown; two are practically gone from home, and the other stands almost an entire foot above me and talks in a low baritone voice?  These precious people who stopped my life completely, gave me new purpose and understanding.  Little wonders who drove me to my knees before a God I didn't know would be so personal and loving with a Mother's cry for them to be spared her hardships, then again as they made my mistakes and their own as well.  Sweet little loves of mine who have taught me what it is to care for someone else more than myself or anyone else on the planet.  The very fascination of my existence for the past 24 years and, in difficult times, my reason to continue on the journey.  Of course I'm sad!  (kleenex, please)

However, as I look into the future, pray and ask for purpose greater than any I've had before, I am filled with an intention to forge ahead and find what my Lord has in store for me. And in that prayer, I find I'm not alone.  So many of us find ourselves in this situation in mid-life (especially Moms).  We've put everything we had into our children, family, our spouses, etc...And we get to a point where one or more of these things end (or at least change significantly and we become less needed) and we look around trying to see what's next, only to find, there's nothing personal there because we didn't take the time to create a purpose for our self beyond this point in life.  Many face retirement from careers this same way...All their life dedicated to earning money so their family could have the things they needed and a little bit more for retirement, only to find themselves bored at the time in life they should be enjoying total freedom!  It's so very difficult to know how to plan for the "big" changes in life.  Probably very few of us are truly ready when the time comes.  And even for those fully prepared, I wonder if there's still some disillusion that occurs.

I so wish that it were possible to dream big and make it so, but alas, that's just not how these things work.  The daily grind is a reality and has the audacity to try to bring us down so that we feel we cannot escape the monotony that accompanies it.  But, I won't succumb to it's lie.  I know there are amazing opportunities in this world.  I know that when God's on our side and we're on His, all things work together for His perfect purpose.  I see this restlessness inside my heart and mind as a stepping stone to the next "big" thing.  And while that may be a seemingly impossible mountain to climb, I'm strapping on my backpack, got my walking stick and compass, and am ready to start the climb to the top.  And when I get there, I'll put up a flag, yell "Halleluiah" and when the time is right, I'll come down to seek the next "big" thing.  That's life.  And I'm in it to Live it!