David and Belonging

Yesterday I had the fortune of spending a few hours babysitting my Grandson, David. He is my delight. When I say that, my face lights up with a smile from ear to ear, and a heart-warming heat runs through my veins as I imagine his little smiling face and hear him say my name (David's special name for me) "Mudder." David brings a much needed love explosion into my life which a Mom with grown-up children needs, but doesn't know she needs until she's there...I missed those little tike hugs, kisses, needs, and time spent on the floor playing in a world made of their imagination that they would allow me to enter into. Little David has filled that gap for me and my cup runneth over with love for him. It's a beautiful thing.

Yesterday, David was a little under the weather and Mom needed to leave the house before Dad got home, so I went over for just a bit to watch him and get him fed, etc...When I got there, I received the warm reception I'm used to now where David is squirming and jumping up and down as the door is opening, so excited to see me and spend time with me. He leaps when he sees my face and he runs into my arms and I pick him up, hugging him tightly and saying hello. It's the best welcome ever every single time. And so I know that to David, I belong to him and he belongs to me.

Our sermon today at church was three-pronged, but one of those points was about just this subject...this belonging. To one another, to our family, and to the family of God. This caused me to think about my time with David last night. David, because he was a little bit sick, was a bit difficult to please when it came to dinner. Finally, he asked for some Spaghetti O's and because I have a very private love affair with the same, I immediately agreed that Spaghetti O's it would be for dinner! When I saw that the can also had little hot dogs in the O's, I was overjoyed (secretly, of course. Because I'm an adult and adults should not eat Spaghetti O's). After the food was ready, I got David his Minions plate, a bowl for myself, two glasses of Sunny D, and two spoons. We sat down at the dinner table, and I asked if we should say our prayer. David nodded yes and I put my hands together. David looked at my hands and said "Mudder, we have to hold hands when we pray!" I agreed that that would be a MUCH better way to say our prayer, took one of his hands in mine, and then took Monkeys hand (Monkey is David's stuffed toy that goes everywhere with him currently) and began to pray. At the end of our prayer I said "Amen" and David echoed my Amen with a "Thank You Jesus!" (Seriously, couldn't you just die from his cuteness!)

As anyone who has ever eaten with a three year old can tell you, they spend about 1/8th of their time at meals actually eating the food on their plate, another 1/8th of their time drinking their drink, and 6/8ths of their time playing around, creating little scenarios of fun while they are at the dinner table. I actually find this quite endearing as a Grandparent. (I admit however, that I did not love it quite so much when my kids were younger. I just wanted to be done and had little patience for waiting). I see now that this time at the table with kids is so very precious. And I love that I get to watch the wheels of David's mind at work, creating little scenes about his life that have absolutely nothing to do with the food he's eating, yet somehow, are incorporated into the meal itself.  After his first bite of Spaghetti-O's with hot dog slice, he began running his finger down the neck of his spoon. On the spoon were five slightly raised dots, beginning with the largest of dots at the top and getting smaller as the neck of the spoon became smaller. David pointed to the dots and said "this is my family." He then pointed to the top and largest dot and said this is Papa, the next was Mommy, then was Grandma (not me, his other Grandma), then Daddy, then Rudy (his little Min-Pin doggie). At this point, he ran out of dots so he began at the top once more, and said this one's Doh (that's my husband Jim), then Mommy, Uncle Luke, Mudder (me), and David! (Note that Mommy got two shout outs...that's as it should be!) After David named all of these people, he looked at me and just beamed with joy. He not only belongs to these people, and them to him, he knows he belongs, loves that he belongs, and is confident that everything is ok because of this belonging. It's a truly beautiful thing. The joy that exists inside of children is something I wish could be bottled and sold. I'm certain we would all buy it and use it several times a day. There's just nothing else quite like it.

It occurred to me today as I sat listening to the sermon geared for families as it was a special service meant for kids and adults, that we are never too young, too old, or too mature for our need to belong. Our culture is geared toward helping each of us meet that need. We only go places and hang out with people that we feel belong to us and us to them for one reason or another. Whether it's where we work, our favorite grocery store where we know which aisle houses our favorite BBQ sauce, our gym that we work out in comfort and nod at others as they jog past , our church home where we find large group services to attend, while also finding small groups to engage in like-minded activities and studies with, book clubs where we read, discuss, and explore ideas with people we enjoy, and, of course, family and close friends that we eat meals with, share life, and who we love no matter what they say and/or do. We need to belong. When we stop feeling that connectedness to one another, to the world, to God, we lose our purpose in life. Belonging is maybe the most important thing we ever experience.

I am so glad that I know I belong to God. I am so glad that in His amazing love for me, God saw fit to reveal His love for me through His Son Jesus, who left His throne in Heaven to be born as a human on this imperfect earth, raised as a man, yet still God, living 100% free of any sin (wrongdoing), took a punishment worse than that of anyone I will ever meet or know, put to death in a public humiliating and agonizing way, was buried dead in the tomb for three days, then brought back to life by His Father God to begin a new movement whereby, through our belief that Jesus is the Messiah, Son of the Living God, we have the opportunity to choose Him as our Savior, live our lives as a sacrifice (imperfect as that may be) to Him, and find that we belong to God's own family, and will spend eternity with Him.

I don't begin to understand what it must have been like when that glorious reuniting came to be that Father God once again beheld His Son Jesus in heaven after Jesus had been physically gone for some 30 + years. But I do imagine that the sense of "belonging" and of being Home once again must have been intense and just the most holy of moments for both Father and Son.

I imagine my going Home one day to be with my Abba (Daddy) in heaven much the same way I remember my Grandma Priefert as she lived her final days on earth. Here she was, dying and separating from the physical. She was in terrible pain and agony. She was getting smaller in her physical body, but she knew that she was increasing...Increasing in spiritual strength as she neared the day that she would finally see her love, her Savior, her heavenly Daddy, Know His Spirit deeper and join with all of heaven in praising and honoring Him. When she was close to death, she raised both hands as high as she could, and with the most beautiful smile and as if she were already halfway there, she was heard to say "I'm going home!" This was a woman who knew where she was headed (home) and who it was that she belonged to: God!

My prayer for anyone and everyone who may read this is that you, too might know that you belong to a family. If you are someone who didn't have the sought after experience of a loving family, or even if you had the best family growing up and you are blessed with wonderful memories of what family is, no matter your background, I hope that you will know that there is a family that you are wanted in...that there is a Father who smiles, hugs, laughs, and loves deeper than any earthly father ever could. And that Father wants you to be His child. He offers a forever home where you belong if you only simply believe. He wants you to make him the top dot on your spoon. You are loved and you belong.

Desert

What is this desert
This dry, sandy walk?
What have I done Lord
To create pebble and rock?
In dependence I'm searching
Desiring Your touch
Yet, still there's such emptiness
This loneliness, my crutch
These tears which present themselves
Seem never to end
They're offered to Your glory
Holy Spirit, descend!

I'm searching for Your eyes
To meet these lifeless pools.
Will Your ears listen gently
While I break legalist rules?
Surrounded by this deafening wind
Inside this desert's shell
Creating deepening madness
A longing to free this hell.
Please help me break outside these bounds
Create a refuge, my River.
Walk out to me with arms of love
And I'll run to You, my Deliverer!
Take me far from toil and pain
Where a kiss will annoint
Tears are priceless, not in vain.

I want all of You Jesus
I miss You, my King.
Until we are together,
I've lost everything.

Don't turn away, allow me the joy
Of experiencing moments to delight in Your glory
I admit I'm unworthy with no right to ask
But I'm desperate for You Father
In your Presence I must bask!

Let me view from this wasteland
Some hope in the night
Your light in the distance
Radiate warmly into sight
Bring refreshment, bring truth, bring comfort to my soul
And may I never again lose sight of the One who makes me whole.

First poem after becoming a Christian because I Wanted to be one (not just because I went to church)

I guess I'm finally growing up cause this sure feels like growing pains to me
How could I have known that friends who'd meet me mind to mind
Would be the ones to challenge the very faith they helped me find?
I was handed a beautiful cup and told to drink
Then they pulled it quickly back and cautioned "don't forget to think"

So I prodded and I poked
Sometimes blasphemed, even joked
I didn't see beyond the words or what Your word was offering me
Eventually...
You'd had enough of my self-righteous, prideful and unholy stuff
So You helped me see
By opening up Your truth so that grace could set me free

My God I know I've let people come before You
I put works in front of grace
Sought my glory, not Your face
Lingered with those who'd question instead of questioning my faithfulness to You
And I'm so sorry

Please forgive me, I have sinned
I confess this selfishness within
And seek Your cleansing, Holy River, let it flow
I give it all to You and let it go.

For Luke (my College boy who hates going to class but loves to praise Jesus)

You're stirring up this thing in me
That doesn't yet have a name
But it's for real and it is true
Nothing like a game
Your goodness and Your mercy
They are the leading force
This classroom I wanna sit in and see
I wanna pass this course

Cause You called me and I said Yes
And now I'm in for good
No more junk and no more stress
Excuses and lies won't be misunderstood
I want all of You, I want every part
I'm covered in grace, You've filled up my heart
Jesus, Jesus, give me more of Jesus!
Sweet and kind, Redeemer Jesus!

A New Way of Life (Again)

I have a confession to make: I am a TV, Media, and Computer junkie. I spend countless hours every single day watching the news, reading Facebook posts, and watching reruns of Law & Order, King of Queens, and Everybody Loves Raymond. On the surface this is not so terrible a thing. I'm not ashamed, just simply wanting more.
I wonder what would happen if, for one month, instead of watching tv or computer/phone, what if instead, I took that amount of time to simply be with God. What if I read my Bible and expected that God would speak truth in ways I've not considered before. What if as I skipped that time where I decompress into nothingness in front of the tv, instead I found a quiet place to get onto my knees and pray for the things that God would lead me to pray for. So instead of praying that God would keep America safe from terrorists, perhaps my prayer might look more like "God, send them here! How else will they know You if we never tell them? How else will we reverse this plague of violence and hatred felt by all of us if we don't learn to love like You love?" And what might happen if, instead of allowing the comments and opinions of others (which, let's face it...no matter your political or religious affiliation, sometimes you are just really, really angry and/or hurt by something you read), I sat quietly and just asked God to speak to me. To guide me and teach me how to be the woman He created me to be.
If you're still reading this post, then I have to assume you're interested in something of what I'm saying here. So, if indeed that's you, I challenge you to join me in finding a newfound peace in spending time that matters with God. He rejoices over us when we fully engage with Him and desire His will, His ways, His word.
My hope is that after this month is over, I won't want to become complacent again and will continue on to seek Him instead of mindless, useless drivel. (Ok, a little tv time won't kill me. I'm certain I'll watch something, but less time given to that can only be positive.)
"For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to Him..."
May you find yourself strengthened as you commit your life to Him.