First poem after becoming a Christian because I Wanted to be one (not just because I went to church)

I guess I'm finally growing up cause this sure feels like growing pains to me
How could I have known that friends who'd meet me mind to mind
Would be the ones to challenge the very faith they helped me find?
I was handed a beautiful cup and told to drink
Then they pulled it quickly back and cautioned "don't forget to think"

So I prodded and I poked
Sometimes blasphemed, even joked
I didn't see beyond the words or what Your word was offering me
Eventually...
You'd had enough of my self-righteous, prideful and unholy stuff
So You helped me see
By opening up Your truth so that grace could set me free

My God I know I've let people come before You
I put works in front of grace
Sought my glory, not Your face
Lingered with those who'd question instead of questioning my faithfulness to You
And I'm so sorry

Please forgive me, I have sinned
I confess this selfishness within
And seek Your cleansing, Holy River, let it flow
I give it all to You and let it go.